Belongum’s Weblog

… being a fresh-faced recruit in the Royal Australian Navy, would be it. In three months you learn more about starch, creases, pleats, and folds then you’d ever learn in a dry cleaning business. You learn very quickly about the holes you can make in polyester shoulder flashes, those lovely iron burn ‘patterns’ in white cotton/linen shirts, and how shiny you can make your collar by melting all the polyester in it! Laying out all your Navy kit (uniform) for presentation - every night - in precise recruit-school fashion, is an exercise in complete and utter, finicky frustration. Until you’d been shown, you’d never believe that shirts - when starched appropriately - can stack on top of each other like pancakes (or flapjacks) on a dinner plate!

If you get it right, you get to do this so that they stack PERFECTLY - every time! I mean it… all edges WILL be crisp; not a single ‘railway track’ (double crease) will you EVER see; there will be NO iron marks; and everything WILL align perfectly - one on top of the other! So damned perfectly in fact, that if you were to x-ray this ‘pile’ of shirts, the buttons would appear to be directly on top of one another. You’re taught to do this so well, your mates will never ask you to play a game of cards, ever again. It’d take an hour alone, just to get the deck right!

Why? Well, it’s all rather simple really. If you didn’t, someone ripped it apart for you - and you had to repeat the whole process - all over again! If it was REALLY bad - you got the lot thrown out the window, and apart from having to race downstairs to fetch it - you’d have to wash your kit all over again - only to repeat the whole mind-numbing process in the morning.

Oh… okay - you mean why DO this in the first place, right? Well - I had someplace I needed to be you see - and at the time - recruit school was simply one of those places I had to pass through, on the way to getting there. There was a ‘game’ to be played first, and you played this particular game at a place called HMAS Cerberus - RAN Recruit Training School. A miserable, wet, cold, hovel of a location - situated half way down the Mornington Peninsula, down the bottom of Victoria. It wasn’t precisely the backside (ass) of the world down there; but we often thought that if we stepped up on the toes our spit polished boiler boots, we’d see it - just a hint of ‘hairy’ - on the edge of a dark horizon, in the far southern sky.

The things we do right? If any of you have experienced an apprenticeship, or a trainee-ship, a cadet-ship, or any junior level training preparing you for the next chapter of your life - you know exactly what I’m talking about here. I HATED Cerberus! I froze my arse off there! There were people there that annoyed me like I’d never been annoyed before. Previously - you’d normally have to be a family member to begin to ‘annoy’ me in that way! Sometimes though - in our lives - we want things. I mean we REALLY want these things! So bad in fact, that we put ourselves through all kinds of hell, just to get get a mere glimpse of ‘em! We’ll suffer all kinds of abuse, deceit, discomfort, trauma even - just to be in the running for it. We’ll worry ourselves sick for it, dream of it, crawl over a mile of broken glass just for a whiff of it. You name it folks - we’ll do it! Worse still, we’ll ‘grin and bear it’ - because it’s good to pay a price for these things. If you want it badly enough, you’ll suffer for it, and wake up in the morning demanding more!

Did I mention the possibility of burns in rather sensitive places? It just so happens that an ironing board - for all manners of short or tall peoples - just happen to have the ‘working parts’ at a rather precarious height. This becomes even more apparent when you’re ironing in a hurry, with only your undies on! Don’t let anyone fool you - for all the burn resistance cotton might have over anything resembling polyester, it still hurts like a bastard when that’s all that happens to be between your iron (on it’s ‘Linen’ setting), and any patch of skin that might reside between your belly button and where the top of your legs are! If it’s not that, it’s the steam - do I really need to explain those particular hazards in detail any further? I thought not! The ‘dangle factor’ aside folks; I’m afraid I have to tell you that ironing in your duds, isn’t necessarily a healthy thing to be doing - but ‘needs’ tend to necessitate all manners of odd behavior.

Cue left Recruit training school - HMAS Cerberus. Odd behaviour? Over a thousand recruits running out of a building at 0500 in the morning, just to be sure we’re all out of bed. Then racing back inside to get dressed in your PT (physical training) gear, so you can go for a lovely little morning jog, see the sun rising, take in the lovely lilting tones of nature as it wakes up all around you - you know - that sort of thing. It’s not as if you’ve got something more important to do at that time of the morning you know. Like - oh, gee I don’t know… SLEEPING sort of springs to mind! Odd is running to your room to get changed into the next bit of kit (clothing), passing the brass strip on the floor and up the walls in the hallway - saluting it for saluting practice on the way past it, and saluting it on the way back - just so you can get back outside again, in double quick-time.

People ask me all the time - how’d you do it? How’d you put up with so much bulldust? They say things like: “Man - I couldn’t do that”. “I couldn’t live my life being told what to do all the time”. “I couldn’t stop myself from telling those bastards to F… OFF!”. I’m forever amazed at the sorts of things people say to me when they discover I’d spent a life once, in uniform. They look in on my life and wonder on the reason’s why I might have done some of those things. Often they can’t believe that I put up for it for so long. I sometimes wonder these things myself too - but only SOME of the time! Mostly though, I end up looking at them and wondering many of the same things myself - how do you live the life you do? What ODD things have you done, experienced, put up with - just to get you, to where you need to go?

I bet you’d be surprised at the things you’ve put up with in your life - just to get what you think you needed. Once upon a time, I thought I needed a life in uniform. I made it so - and enjoyed it - and then things changed! This happens in people’s life all the time. If anything I’m a lucky bugger - I’ve had a choice, and I wonder constantly about those who don’t. A life in Recruit School was a picnic compared to some of the lives I know other’s are living. ‘Odd’ is not knowing how bloody lucky you are sometimes, and THAT isn’t a lesson we should be forgetting in any hurry!

Belongum - Out!

… by Barenest! Never been tagged before… so let’s see where this takes me:

The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
Each player answers the questions about themselves.
At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

a) What was I doing 10 years ago?
Learning that Vet Science wasn’t for me - didn’t have the want nor discipline for it anymore (’Life’ intervened sadly) - fell into Youth / Community Work (via nightclub work strangely enough lol) and I’ve been in this game ever since… it fit’s me well and I enjoy it!

b) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today:

Well its evening now but today I had to :

1. Prepare the front yard for grass before the ‘tribe’ get’s back! Half Done - bloomin’ rain (update - BLOOMIN rain - bugger it had to retreat inside and do inside jobs!  Cleaning washing etc… BLechhh!)!

2. Build new set of kitchen shelves - phew - done!

3. Buy Dinner tonight (Kitchen is a HUGE building mess!).

4. Change and refit some of the kitchen - DONE!

5. Clean house for ‘tribes’ impending return! (Done!)

6. Build sand pit for lads. Almost done (Update - BLOOMING RAIN!!!)  *sighhhhhhh*

7. PACK for Karratha… arghhhhh - NOT DONE! (You might ask what the hell am I doing on here then - Answer’s really quite simple - I’m an IDJIT!)

c) Snacks I enjoy:

Salty plums too! Mostly savoury things - cooked cray legs, noodles, lot’s of things with an Asian flavour - any thing that might go well with a really cold beer!

Fresh fruit as well- if I have too , but I prefer a Vegemite sandwich and a glass of milk!  Imagine how tough The Phantom would be of he had a Vegemite ’sangar’ with his milk eh?!

d) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Ummm… bank a lot of it and build off it’s interest - invest this in young people who need opportunity, a safe place to live, help with realising their dreams.  Encourage the those who could, to eventually learn of the bigger world they’re a part of.  Start a foundation that helps kids over come t he bulldust happening in their lives.

Buy houses for our family members and close mates, property to re-vegetate for the family… or so I say now - I have no idea what a billion would look like - nor what I’d really do about it!  I’d like to think I could give to those who need help too - but I reckon I’d have to buy a new identity - people would come knocking!

e) Places I have lived:

WA, NSW, VIC… RAN ships /bases. Nurses quarters, under a hootchie … many places I guess.

f) Who am I tagging:

Ummm… who’s a bloody good question - who’ll let me get away with it?

Red Dirt Mummy?

Jaded Lotus?

The Lilly Pad?

Any other takers…?  Please???

I’ll now go and hide in Karratha for the week… have fun whilst I’m off about the countryside you mob - play nice and share the toys!

Belongum - Out!

…as I observe them moving about in our/their world. It’s my worry that for quite some time now, we’ve let our young people down. We’ve let them ‘disconnect’ from our worlds - unplug if you like - as life and it’s pressures clamber all about us, forcing us to burn the candle at both ends, forcing us away from those things that help anchor our young people as they grow apart from us - their family, and their community.

I think there’s a saying that goes along the lines of ” It takes a village to raise a young person”, and personally - I couldn’t agree more. I happen to believe that raising our young people well and safely, is a whole COMMUNITY responsibility! I believe that half the problems we are experiencing now as adults, and most of the difficulties facing young people as teenagers - isn’t about the marital status of the parents. I don’t believe for a moment it’s about parents doing it alone. I certainly don’t believe these issues are anchored in ‘cultural faults’ belonging to specific ‘cultural groups’, nor do I think it’s the fault of those who have simply cast off their spiritual guidance. I believe it’s about the fact that we simply don’t value our young people anymore - certainly not enough to cherish them as fellow community members.

Stop and think about it for a minute. If we REALLY valued our young people and their culture, wouldn’t they be taking more of a part in the decision making processes in our local communities? If we REALLY valued them - wouldn’t we be listening more and ACTING on those things they tell us. If our society was REALLY geared towards developing for the future of this country, wouldn’t we be thinking of THEIR future - not OUR future? Aren’t we simply custodians of this country, waiting for the time when our young people come of age - aren’t we preparing our world for our young people, and their lives - not ours?  My smally time on this planet - my experiences thus far as a member of our Australian Society - leaves me thinking that the answer as a society in general, is: No - we’re not!

This realisation scares the absolute Bejesus out of me! I live a life largely for me, not for my son’s and daughter’s - certainly not for YOUR son’s and daughter’s - and the point of it all really is that; yes - I should be! I should be taking part in a life that holds me responsible to the future of our young people. I SHOULD be held responsible for the choices I make, the things I do, the life I lead, because frankly - if I as an individual misuse the rights to life I’ve been given, this then runs the risk of impacting upon the lives of you and your children (and their children and so on).

I’m not talking about me taking your car, smashing your personal belongings or assaulting you beyond belief. I’m talking about higher things here; those things that when fostered well at the right time in a young person’s life, help to prevent those physical things from occuring - later on in a young person’s life. We’re ALL responsible for the way our young people live in our society. We’re the village, and I think the problem here is that somewhere, somehow - we’ve moved away from this way of caring for and raising our young people.

I have to tell you that as an Indigenous person in this country - brought up with the knowledge of our own family system - it astounds me how little most non-Indigenous families know about their own families. I can’t think of my family members in terms of first cousins, second cousins and third cousins the way it seems in whitefella families; because to do so means I’m separating those members further away from the centre of the family. In our family system we don’t have first cousins - we have brothers and sisters. All of my mother’s sisters - I call Mum. All of my mother’s brother’ we now call ‘Uncle’ - but the English term means so much more then it does in most Non-Indigenous communities - it has much more depth, so much more responsibility.

Second cousins in my family, are my nephews and nieces, and those you might consider your third cousins become my Grandchildren. I’m responsible for the way they’re brought up, in much the same way their mother and father are. I could be the one raising my nephew, or grandson, not necessarily his father or mother - it might be MY responsibility. By rights - I am obliged to look to my family as a whole - not as individuals. Traditionally; my place in the scheme of things is to look to my young people, and their future, not to myself. Sadly though - something got broken along the way. Colonisation shattered these values and beliefs, and History smashed apart whole families and clans - scattering apart a family care system as old as time, and leaving behind remnants, that simply don’t seem to have place in our largely ‘whitefella’ main stream culture.

Which saddens me; because if there’s one thing I’ve seen that’s badly needed in the world of young people experiencing crisis and difficulties - it’s belonging - feeling wanted and valued. Any young person I’ve worked with as a youth worker who’s come close to the cusp of suicide has done so largely becuase they are in crisis themselves. They feel cast off, alone, helpless, lost, worthless - all those things you’re least likely to feel if someone truly cares fore you - really cherishes you for who you are, and what that means.

Our young people need to know that they’re part of a much larger picture - a family jigsaw puzzle if you like - where they’re a key puzzle piece, and without them the picture remains incomplete. This has to be known by that young person - they need to be reminded of this at all times, and for it to really work well - the WHOLE family must think like this - and do this whilst the young person is living and breathing. Not lament this when they are dead. By the time this happens - it’s far to late… the young person is gone, and that seems to me to be the saddest thing about all this business: We leave it far to late - and we lose the opportunity to help our young people grow well and safe.

Our young people are part of our village, our community, our bigger and greater family if you like, and we should treasure them, nurture them, grow them even, because in MY mind this is a whole community responsibility. I want my son’s to grow well and safe. I want my son’s to have value in their life. I sure as hell want this society that I live in to value their life, past that of the trouble young people appear to cause in our life. We complain incessantly about the strife young people bring about. We make a hell of alot of noise about this as a society. We point fingers, gesture wildly, groan, sigh - expect amazing things, and make judgments more applicable to silly-bugger adults, who really SHOULD know better. However, we don’t accept responsibility for the situation we helped create. We don’t acknowledge the legacy we passed onto our young people. We don’t reflect on the lessons we might have inadvertently taught them.

My dealing’s with young people in well over 10 years of yarning with them about how valued they feel as members of our community, sadly leave me shaking my head. I’m scared that we cast off our young people far too easily. As a whole, as soon as they experience any difficulty - and we as adults fail to understand it - we dismiss it, and whack it in the too hard basket. Whilst I know we have things happening in our life - constantly challenging us and not making living any bloody easier - I also think there’s things we might do early in a young person’s life that helps them better overcome difficulties much later. I don’t think it’s rocket science, but I also know that for some people it’s simply not this bloody easy. THAT’S why it takes a whole village to do this business of raising our young fellas well and safe - because a true community realises the value in helping out all community members as a whole. It pays dividends… beyond our belief.

Invest in our young people, and reap the rewards. Keep them safe, care for them, and value them… because we lose far too many of them, for all the wrong reasons. I can tell you - as a person working in the youth work industry - there are more ways of losing our young people then simply to suicide. It’s bloody heart breaking, and I’ve cried more times then I care to remember.

I’d rather cry tears of joy as they succeed and overcome difficulties in their life! And I know really - you’d rather do so too!

Belongum - Out!