Just for fun…

… thanks to the wonderful ladies (and some gents) who compile Church and Community Newsletters the world over. We thanks you for your ‘typos’. I had a good chuckle at these this morning – so I thought I’d ‘share the love’.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’.

Springing to mind of course a combination of both The Vicar of Dibley and Black Adder. Now wouldn’t that be deliciously funny…

Belongum – Out!

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About Belongum

People bring 'things' to me. Not necessarily PHYSICAL things as such - mostly just the loose bits and pieces floating around in their 'brain-box'. Sometimes, they also bring themselves - and THAT isn't anywhere near as simple as it sounds. I come here to pass some of this 'brain-box business' on to the ether world, and to empty my head. Besides folks - I love a good yarn - so come and join me!
This entry was posted in funny, Humour, Typo. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Just for fun…

  1. Too funny! I laughed so hard at these I choked on my cuppa. I can’t even narrow down to one stand-out fave, so many of them are laugh-out-loud funny. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    I just KNEW you’d get a particular kick out of these M… I was having quite a loud chuckle myself when I read ’em! Good to see ya back 😉

    Like

  2. lillipilli says:

    I never want an electric girdle!! 🙂

    The sparky in me never wants to have to fix one – YIKES! I’ve missed ya C – I mean A – I MEAN LP… 😉

    Like

  3. Cellobella says:

    LOL – they are brilliant. Bless.
    Yeah – what a cracker eh?! I can see a similar thing happening in our country towns, CWA groups… it fair makes me laugh out loud! 😉

    Like

  4. Reminds me of the scene in Vicar of Dibley when Alice is reading the lesson and pronouncing all the esses as effs.

    Alice: “Therefore fight the good fight for his fake and he shall be your fu-”

    Geraldine breaks in: “Succour. He shall be your succour.”

    Haha – oh yes – I remember that one… The Vicar of Dibley was always a hoot!

    Like

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