I thought I’d share this…

…because it made me laugh out loud on the plane!  In last week’s Pilbara Echo – a local newspaper I pick up whenever I’m in the Shire of Roebourne – they had a wanted ad that read:

“WANTED: Telepath. You know where to apply.”

I actually burst out laughing, right out loud, right there in the centre seat – up the back of the plane.  Look – I know it’s an oldie, but this tells me that someone in the Classifieds department there, has themselves a naughty sense of humour, and that brightens my day like you wouldn’t believe.

I’m sorry to say that I’m a real fan of silly bugger humour – the harmless kind that has you giggling like a fool, with tears coursing down your face!  If it was a really good laughing fit, you’d need to lean on something for a small bit – just to recover from the stitch you’ve discovered.  These moments sneak up on me occasionally and I have to stifle the odd chuckle, knowing from experience that I’m probably one of the very few that might just get it.  Or – as you’ve probably already suspected – most time I AM the only person who get’s it!

Get yourself posted on a ship at sea with the same group of people for months, and you find out just how silly your sense of humour can get.  It’s not just an individual thing, the whole crew get’s caught up in it.  how else do you explain announcements over the ship’s loudspeaker system like:

“Able Seaman Kelvinator (Westinghouse, LG *insert suitable fridge brand name here*) – report to the Fridge Flat!”

“Would the sailor with the key to the ships main engine, please report to the Gangway!”

These are the simple one liners, and before to long you get caught up in the more complicated setups, such as:

“Volunteers for splash target coxsain – muster – quarterdeck!”

You now need to understand that a splash target is a small ‘raft’ towed behind a ship on a LONGGGGG line, and as it’s towed – it sends up a tall spout of water – ‘a splash’.  This is then used for target practice by other ship’s in your deployment flotilla, as ships ‘aim off’ the target, so as not to destroy the ‘raft’ for the duration of the exercise.  Let’s just say that there is simply no such thing as a Splash Target Coxswain, but it doesn’t stop you from trying to find one who doesn’t know better just yet – and you ALWAYS find a small number of volunteers – ALWAYS!

the old Defence Force adage of NEVER volunteering for ANYTHING becomes clear as crystal as the assembled recieve their safety briefing, are walked around their splash target ‘raft’ (paying special attention to fitted handholds painted bright safety red for effect); are issued their two-way radio, kevlar helmet and vest, first aid kit, and flash light for back-up signaling by Morse code!  People then get kitted up and a question and answer process takes place to test their understanding.

Even at this stage, people are still thinking this is a real gig, it’ll actually happen, and that this will make a hell of a story to tell someday.  It’s true – it will – but never in the way they might have originally anticipated. It eventually becomes clear that the splash target really isn’t a good place to be when things are being fired in it’s general direction, and the volunteers are then cut lose with nothing but some bent pride.  It’s amazing how much this kind of gag is needed by a ships crew – or anyone for that matter.

However, it’s not necessarily the complicated situations I treasure; it’s more the simple ones, the innocent things – those little moments that if you hadn’t noticed it building up in the first place, your sure as heck weren’t going to be catching it as it slid on by. For example, the casual announcement of the cabin staff on the flying pencil I used to catch to Meekatharra, where the seat belt sign would go off, and they’d be compelled to say: “Feel free to move about the cabin…” I’d laugh each and every time.  Move… bloody where?  If I could have taken my legs off before I gotten on board and stowed them somewhere useful, I have to tell ya folks, I’d still be feeling squeezy.

When the cabin staff introduce the whistle on the life jacket in their safety brief – holding it the air and saying something to the effect of: “To attract attention – use this whistle!”; there’s secretly a large part of me that wants to see the crew member in front of me, rip off the whistle and fling it like a demented school teacher of old; pelting you with a piece of chalk.  I want them aiming for that ‘lazy’ bugger whose just not listening to them, and saying in THAT schoolteacher voice, “Have I got your attention yet Sunshine?”

Silly, I know – but hey – this silly sense of humour of mine has kept me going all this time. Given some of the things people have shared with me, and some of the sadder things I’ve learned about some people in general, I’d much rather stand by my silly bugger humour, then ‘cry into my beer’ at night.  A good laugh clears out the mind I guess, in much the same way a good cry flushes out your soul… and as far as I can tell – that can’t be too much of a bad thing.  We all run the risk of taking ourselves just a little too seriously at times, and we need reminders in life that this type of behaviour just isn’t bloody necessary.

So get out and laugh at something, laugh WITH someone, laugh at yourself for gawds sake – and laugh out loud!  Hell – laugh at me – I do – and often.  I don’t mind a good chuckle shared – but I might just miss it folks, as I’m too damn busy laughing at the little things flipping back and forth in my own mind.  I’m easily amused – especially by myself 😉

Belongum – Out!


About Belongum

People bring 'things' to me. Not necessarily PHYSICAL things as such - mostly just the loose bits and pieces floating around in their 'brain-box'. Sometimes, they also bring themselves - and THAT isn't anywhere near as simple as it sounds. I come here to pass some of this 'brain-box business' on to the ether world, and to empty my head. Besides folks - I love a good yarn - so come and join me!
This entry was posted in Australia, funny, life, Mates, Mateship, people, rediculous, Royal Australian Navy, tale, true story, Uncategorized, yarn. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I thought I’d share this…

  1. mummabare says:

    So, sense of humour is part of the selection criteria huh?

    My sense of humor kicked in when I was picturing you in a plane with your knees up round your ears 🙂

    I just KNEW that was going to crack you up… sheesh! If only you knew the absolute horror of being so damn tall… 😉 (Or not so tall, these days!)


  2. Mandi says:

    Hey, there you are! I’ve seen you over at mine lots but have been waiting to see you back here. Nice to see you!

    Well I never thought I’d say… gee I miss the paper from up there. They report the most ridiculous things and I generally managed to giggle my way through a good portion of it but your little excerpt was well worth the giggle!

    I think it’s fair to say that my sense of humour is somewhat unique. Offspring #1 appears to have inherited it and we have each other in fits of laughter while everyone else just looks on, somewhat puzzled…

    Oh I think you’re not alone there – my niece sneaks in a giggle with her uncle on a regular occasion – she’s right on the money each and every time – she’s so good you can see her following the yarn as it goes, and she snickering well before the conclusion. She’s go a wicked sense of humour and it’s grown from watching us (her dad and uncles) – having been together for so long – we almost never finish complete sentences anymore. Our sense of humour reflects this… funny how you can see this early in the young ones around us… my oldest is scaring me silly *sighhhh*

    Yes – i need to be more bloomin active… I cant fall back on the no phone line thing lol 😉 Cheers


  3. Cellobella says:

    Yay another yarn from Belongum!

    I LOVE that classified, it reminds me of arriving in a freezing sleety Munich airport and the captain saying “Welcome to Barbados!”

    It’s the unexpected humour that I value the most – that glimpse that hey – I’m talking/listening/reading to a real person.


    Slow I know CB – these little people in the house make for demanding house company lol
    Couldn’t agree more – it’s nice to know you’re in ‘human’ company. Oh to hear a captain chucking a little fun into your day eh?! The only time I heard something like that was on my first Virgin Blue flight, where the cabin crew were giving the whole no smoking allowed in the cabin spiel, ending it with “…but please feel free to use the smoking lounges situated on both wings of the aircraft. Thank you!” Loved it lol 😉


  4. Jodie says:

    i am so happy that our publication made you smile. As for the classified dept… we are an office of 4 people max. The funny classies are made up by our wonderful Melissa. So nice to hear our paper puts smiles on faces. It makes all the hard wok so worth while!
    Safe travels. If you are ever in Karratha, pop in and say hi.

    Cheers Jodie – nice of you to ‘drop by’! Now that was a while ago – but yes… I get up your way often enough – and when I’m about, I’ll say Gudday… Keep ’em coming Melissa – you might as well have fun doing what you ‘re doing! Cheers to the team – you all got a mention on the World Wide Web lol 😉


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