Frogs…

…frigging frogs. They are bloody EVERYWHERE! It’s been a wet year for Meekatharra – largely due to a generous cyclone or two early in the piece, and many thunderstorms in-between. With the wet – comes the frogs. People that live in those wonderfully tropical areas of the world will know exactly what I’m talking about – there isn’t a nook or cranny (other then your oven perhaps) that these little fellas won’t visit. The little buggers are all OVER the place!

Stroll out to the toilet at night and SCHLICK – you take your life into your own hands – skidding off one of the offending little critters and banging into the wall – in a freaky attempt to avoid the squishy little thing you stepped onto in the first place. In fact, it’s more reminiscent of something you’ve stepped into, and your primal mind recoils as soon as the cold, wet, slick sensation, registers slowly inside your sleep fuddled brainbox. At 2am in the morning – feeling like you’ve just stepped upon your dog’s cold wet nose – does nothing to help with the reason your on your way to the toilet in the first place!

Don’t get me started on the whole toilet issue. I mean – where else in YOUR house would you find a permanent ‘pool’ on standby at all times, for our little amphibian friends? The damn toilet presents me with more moral dilemmas then I can poke a stick at. My mum always taught me to be a polite and considerate member of our society. She made sure I understood that I was never to be deliberatly cruel to animals too. THAT was left to the naughty children out there. So here I find myself – toilet lid up – all prepared to do my business and looking down the ‘barrel’ at four or more little faces, all of which are now looking up at me!

What’s a bloke to do? I don’t WANT to whiz on them… it would go against all my mother hard worn beatings… I mean – training. She wouldn’t want me seeking any sport in such a manner as this. She’d be disgusted in me if I sought to pee on frogs for fun and she’d have words to say, really unpleasant words  and I sure as hell don’t need that – I can tell you! So I aim off to the side, trying to be considerate and trying not to think of the little buggers you might have picked up and moved earlier in the day when you’ve come across them – remembering this very same dilemma – LAST night! The chances are, you’ve just finished relocating frogs that have been frog-kicking all around your dunny bowl! Osmosis is a simple process and frogs are highly prone to it. Whatever liquid that might have been on the outside of that frog last night, was more then likely absorbed into the dirty little critter as well. Frogs also need moisture to keep their skin form drying out. You do the math. All in all it’s best not to think on it, and concentrate on the business at hand. If you can.

And the damn little buggers won’t stay still. I mean – It’s completely understandable – would YOU stand still and wait for someone to pee on you? You’re trying to do them a service here, the idea is to miss them well, so you get to have guiltless nights sleep. You do NOT want to be having nightmares of your mother looking over your shoulder and shaking her head dispondently at you. I have trouble enough getting to sleep by myself at night thanks, I sure as hell don’t need that image bouncing around in my brainbox too.

To add insult to injury, one of their mates might suddenly decide to join them. It clambers up the side of the bowl, suddenly see’s YOU there (business at hand so to speak) and in a mad panic it dives headlong into the bowl! Now this bowl isn’t made for diving; it can handle flushing fine, but deliberate diving (or bombies) are simply NOT allowed and sure enough the resultant SPLASH leaves you wet down your leg, just like you didn’t make it to the toilet in the first place.

A species of tree frog it’s likely to be, one of them little Litoria fellas, although I must admit I can’t remember which. Frog’s are said to be a good indicators of environmental impact and damage upon an ecosystem. Where there are plenty of frogs, there is a healthy ecosystem. I’m sorry, but I look down my toilet bowl and wonder how THAT could be healthy for ANY blooming critter. Honestly, they do us great favours by sticking it to the nuisance insect population at times, but do they REALLY need to frequent our loos and kitchen spaces (and that’s a whole other rant entirely)? Can’t we put up signs? NO GO zones for our little amphibious mates, so I don’t have to mentally connect the dots on their habits and come up with a picture of a wet toilet bowl in their travels.

Sighhhhh… perhaps it’s time to take my business outside. Invest in a lemon tree, build my own compost heap – you know – find other creative ways to divest my body of all this useless nitrogen and liquid waste that appears to be clogging up my system. At least a lemon tree would be happy with my frequent nightly visits and a compost pile would shake my hand and thank me if it could. These bloody frogs though – they’re a bloody nuisance – because sure as be damned, the first few steps I take outside would find one of my feet placed on the back of one of these little buggers, and this now ANGRY frog would be outside, with all of it’s mates. Step on one of them and the others will come. If my reaction at 2am in the morning discovering just one of these little buggers by accident isn’t a pleasant experience for me – why in hell would I want to mobbed by dozens of the little mongrels?!

You’d hear me where ever you are… I can promise you of that, the resultant scream would cost my neighbours and I, all our glass windows!

SHUDDER… I should just wet the bloody bed and wait for summer!

Belongum – Out!

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About Belongum

People bring 'things' to me. Not necessarily PHYSICAL things as such - mostly just the loose bits and pieces floating around in their 'brain-box'. Sometimes, they also bring themselves - and THAT isn't anywhere near as simple as it sounds. I come here to pass some of this 'brain-box business' on to the ether world, and to empty my head. Besides folks - I love a good yarn - so come and join me!
This entry was posted in adversity, ambushed, Australia, Australiana, black, boss, bulldust, coincidence, creeps, critters, cyclone, frogs, Meekatharra, people, Western Australia, wet and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Frogs…

  1. Anonymous says:

    B, I reckon you should wait for summer until you wet the bed, it will dry faster.

    When I lived in Cairns, I had similar (although not of the toilet bowl variety, just everybloodywhere else) experiences with those cane toad devils. Treading on a cane toad in the middle of the night, is unforgettable, unfortunately.

    Much nicer to think of native frogs thriving in “unusual” conditions.

    Keep well.
    xx

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    Was at my in-laws’ place on Tuesday evening. Outer suburban Perth. They have a lot of frogs too and have the frog in the loo problem as well! I don’t know what sort they are, but the sight of them is very comforting (the thought of the healthy ecosystem). My mother-in-law was complaining about the frog that they could hear around the house but not find, though… Do the frogs get into your loo even with the cover down?

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  3. Belongum says:

    I’ve only seen dead cane toads A… and can’t imagine them in plague proportions. Although I’d hate to step on one ofthe buggers that’s for sure… I’m sure if I had the experience – late at night – I’d remember it for a VERY long time!

    CW – Mate, thanks for joining us… a fellow Perth-ite eh?! Good to see. I actually used to be one of the snake busters for Perth, but it got to bloody busy. One of the funnier (if somewhat frustrating) callouts I had was to help a lady out with her frog ‘problem’. It was exactly the same as the one you described for your MIL. She wanted me to come over and remove all the frogs.

    I tried to explain the situation, but she wouldn’t have any of it… they were keeping her guests up at night and had to GO! I of course declined… it’s a volunteer job, and she didn’t want to get rid of the fishpond! Bugger eh?! lol!

    Yep the frogs get in no worries at all… clever little buggers!

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  4. tfp says:

    In summer we find the odd frog swimming in our spa from time to time. The cats get very excited, but haven’t caught one yet (not that we’d let them).

    I’d be frightened to sit on the loo thinking a frog might jump up towards my um *bits*. Euuugh. You sound effect SCHLICK made me laugh … and shudder at the same time.

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  5. Wombat & Aspen says:

    I rather like listening to them when it’s wet enough here (I live in a fairly dry area), but I squirm when I smoosh one in the drive. I’d probably scream if they joined me in the bathroom!

    “Frogs” – the unmade Hitchcock movie.

    -Aspen

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  6. Ian says:

    Have you got our green frogs there mate? We’re a bit light on here in Darwin at the moment…. but we had our first light shower the other night and there was a few tuning up in the pipes on the back fence. What they lacked in numbers they more than made up for in volume :-))
    Cheers.

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  7. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for stopping by at my blog too 🙂 My MIL actually likes the frogs and was more worried that the one she couldn’t find would die in her house, or something…

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  8. The Daily Magnet says:

    (shudder…)maybe you could only eat and drink in daylight hours?

    My mum is a frog-lover, it’s probably her totem – the sounds they make are ok, but I cannot get over the ‘schlick.’

    I just don’t like amphibians, like have you ever smelt a turtle – can you imagine ever being so hungry you had to actually eat one!?
    Spew-riffic.

    The ‘biting your bum’ idea on the outback dunny, is an image that will haunt me forever, thank you…uuuuuurgh

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  9. Belongum says:

    Ian… those big fellas are an amzing thing to see eh?! Nahh mate – they haven’t gitched a ride south at all… I’d be looking at those bloody cane toads for a reason why mate. The climate and environment up your way should still be good for those fellas – surely?

    CW – Your MIL sounds as if she cares for the critters – as do I – just not a 2 in the morning.

    DM – It’s an interesting ‘little’ defence mechanism our freshwater long neck turtles have got eh… the skunks of the turtle world! They REEK when they want too… I used to recue (and repair – thank gawd for super glue – turtles that had been hit by cars… PHEWWWWWWWW – talk about PONG!) Wouldn’t catch ME eating one of those fellas!!!

    Now saltwatre critters is a different matter entirely!

    Aspen – mate, maybe Hitchcock tried it with frogs first? You know – a draft, then just chucked it out… waking one morning to scramble for it like a mad thing, screaming BIRDS, it has to be BIRDS!!!

    Nahhh – i didn’t think so either… lol!

    That movie still spooks me… it’s right up there with the original of the Triffids!

    TFP – I can see the little buggers recling in that spa of yours.

    If they were smart they’d be waiting for one of those delicious delicacies your partner cooks… Bugger the frogs mate, I’m on my way 😉 That food always looks SO YUMMY!

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  10. Callisto says:

    We now have A, B and C, because I am back 😉

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  11. lizzy says:

    Ugh.

    For me it’s the cicada. I can handle frogs. Toads. Just the thought of those dead little cicada carcasses dropping from the trees scares the crap out of me.

    Thanks – I’ve been enjoying reading your blog. I’ve been out of Oz for ten years, and it’s refreshing to ‘read’ something with such Aussie character.

    -Liz

    Like

  12. Sue, now a Perthite says:

    after living in sunny Wiluna, Im sure you have some of the same frogs we had, this may sound a little cruel, but I hated the clammy green hand on my ass, cos us ladies kinda have to SIT, ok enough details, you get the idea…..the point is frogs hate bloo loos, so just bung a blue thing in the cystern and they will vacate to …well everywhere else, cheers, Sue

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