…my humble apologies for letting ‘life’ get in the way of things – how rude!
So, for a quick and easy reintroduction back into the world of blogging (for ME), let me relay a small but funny story I heard last night on “Spicks and Specks” – a funky, funny, music quiz show on our ABC, here in Oz.
It had me in stitches… it was a yarn about an Australian man, trying to do the righty by his Missus, not too long after they had arrived in Alice Springs, where they started their married life. Fiona O’Loughlin, a great comedian who makes merry mileage out of her own experiences with her family (mostly her kids), shared this yarn with us Aussies. Man she’s a bloody funny bugger, and quick as!
So, whilst I’m just recalling this off the top of my noggin, if you can throw your brainbox into gear and picture your average bloke in this situation, say somewhere in an Aussie country town (or your local equivalent) – you’ll probably be doing the same thing I was last night – busting your guts laughing! Forgive my memory – I was too busy laughing but I’ll try to do Fiona justice. (So – my apologies in advance to Fiona O’Loughlin!)
Shortly after Fiona married her hubby, they moved to Alice Springs. Hubby came from this town and was well known, played for the local footy team and was quite the bloke amongst men.
He was outside on their front veranda (porch) cleaning down a rug or something similar with a broom and was hard at it, when his mates on the footy team jog by, doing a bit of training. Fiona spot’s this from the inside and can’t resist – she races outside and yells at the top of her lungs:
“… and when you’ve finished there, you can bloody well get back inside and finish the rest of the house!”.
With that she races back in the house with a Bang of the flyscreen door, leaving a horrified hubby in full view of his mates, and pisses herself laughing (not a literal expression – just an Aussie one – so settle petal) at her own wit. That is until she looks outside again and sees the reaction of her hubby’s mates… they sort of shuffle about completely embarrassed for the situation they’ve just witnessed, exchange some meaningful glances amongst themselves, and quickly bugger off without saying a word.
Hubby charges inside and says “What the bloody hell did you do THAT for…?”, and Fiona starts to apologise saying it was just a bit of a lark, but – you know – the joke worked TOO well.
Hubby was furious, so Fiona did the only thing she knew would work in her defence, putting on the tears and sobs: “It’s just that… SOB… you have all your friends… SOB… here, and I don’t know anyone… SOB… and I’m so lonely…”
Well, you can guess the result, Hubby caves, feels sorry for his Missus, wishing he hadn’t reacted the way he did, and feels he has to right the situation.
Here’s the kicker though… in a fit of creativity Hubby races inside, dresses up like a woman, bolts outside, comes up to the front door as bold as can be – knocks on it – and introduces ‘herself’ to Fiona, the lady of the house. Fiona’s ‘new’ visitor then proceeds to welcome her to the neighbourhood, as she’s new here and hasn’t got any friends. Fiona’s newfound friend hopes to make her feel comfortable in her new town, as any good neighbour would.
Fiona – stunned – does the only thing a lady should do in such a situations – she invite her now he/she hubby – come female next-door neighbour – in for a nice cup of tea and a little chat.
Meanwhile, the footy team – feeling for their mate who’s caught up in such a shitty situation – do the only thing THEY think they can do to help a mate in such dire need. The team decides to return to their mate’s house with a mind to help him out, so he can get away all the quicker from the dragon he’s so obviously married.
Imagine the scene… walking in on their mate – who was now dressed like a woman – siting down and having a nice cup of tea with his wife!
I was weak from laughing – so were the Spicks and Specks teams.
Now, if you’ve stuck with me thus far… I thank you – please to be patting yourself on the back, and getting yourself a chocolate frog out of the fridge. On me!
I’ll post an original soon as I stop laughing… my apologies if that just wasn’t up to scratch… I reckoned it was a pearler, and just had to share it!
Belongum – Out!